I work for a well-known commercial ambulance company here in Connecticut. The company started in 1963 and the uniforms haven’t changed much. We wear maroon pants and a maroon clip on tie (germ spreader) with a white shirt. The tie must be a clip on to pop loose when a psychiatric patient grabs it. It is occasionally humiliating and I believe, unprofessional looking. Our pants are not even the BDUs favored by most EMS agencies, or the Dickies work pants, they are the bright maroon polyester like something from a Brady Bunch rerun. They have to be special ordered from some remote hillbilly Podunk hellhole place that makes pants for high school bands. It often takes months due to the lack of demand for maroon.  (Surprise)

I should feel OK with it because that was the policy when I enlisted and I see the old pictures on the wall at the bases and they had to wear white zip up ankle boots and a white belt. That’s all black now. Also I can wear a black pullover, and black shoes are mandatory. Still, it is maroon, black, and white.

I am working in motor vehicle crash scenes and other potentially dangerous areas and one flare up and this stuff will stick to me like Napalm and I’m dressed like a Good and Plenty with a bite out of it. Not to mention battery acid and antifreeze and oils and the rest of those potential hazards. No protection.

The company always claims we should let fire do our extrications, stay away from the hazards, scene safety, but how realistic is that on a prolonged extrication? I stand on the shoulder of the road while my patient is extricated, watching? What if it’s a trauma code, no IV line or ventilations? Fire always shows up in full turn out gear, as they should. Even the volley EMS service in my town supplies me with a fireproof, professional looking, dark blue jumpsuit for working in the road. Here I get a little orange vest with reflector tape on it because working in the road at night in a black jacket and maroon pants invites trouble.

We just had a supervisor clipped last month on scene as he stood in the road talking with the police. He managed to get partially out of the way by grabbing the cop’s light bar and pulling himself up. Close. He was out for a month, just got back. Motorist claimed he never saw him. (Surprise) He is too scared to complain, it’s a family business and he’ll get canned.

We recently went union. I am a long time manager in my other life. I voted for the union. Why? I hate the uniforms and maybe the union can do something about it. I hope so. Up to this point the company has been adamant, refusing to even entertain the idea. Is anyone reading this from OSHA?

The worst part is, we occasionally run into foreign territory out of our service area for mutual aid or long transfers where they are not familiar with our uniforms. Ever been laughed at like that? It is not laugh out loud, but we all know the look. The smirk. Like, 'oh I heard about those uniforms, never saw one though'. It is a real sore point with us. We are touchy about it.

Most of us work hard. We are professional and dedicated and eager to do a good job. If you took a vote 99.9% of the emergency side would vote to change them. I say emergency side because we have a transportation division too. Chair care drivers, bus drivers, van drivers, who all wear the same uniform. You have to look at the patches to figure out who is who. I wear a chair car driver’s uniform.

One unfortunate night in our new house the washing machine craps out. My wife calls me on the cell to have me stop at Sears to order up a new washer to be picked up when I have more time. (When will that be?)  Now I am coming off an evening/overnight double so it is about 10 in the morning and I’ve been basically awake for 20 hours.
   
I drag my exhausted ass to the store in uniform and I’m waiting for some pimply-faced salesman to wait on me. A man absent-mindedly reading a flyer strolls up to me and asks “ Where are the tractors? “

   “ I have no idea. “

     This guy looks up and says “ Oh I thought you were the security guard. “ He is serious. No apology, he appears mildly ticked off I’m not who I’m supposed to be.

     Here it comes, the feeling that starts in my stomach and rumbles up through my chest, to my mouth. I’ve really had it. The big twenty hour chip on my shoulder.

     “ Do you see these _______ patches? Are you blind? “
 
      “ No need to be rude. “ he mumbles

      “ Yes the ____ there is. I worked hard to get them and keep them. “

      “ I know the owner.“ He says the name. Everyone knew the owner. He had been a fixture around town for years. Him and his ill fitting crappy maroon uniforms and ugly ambulances. Lives in a warm state now year around.

      “ Yea? Well the next time you see him tell him badge number 232 said to shove it up his ___. “ I show him my name badge and walk away.

OK, so the next week I’m in the office with my union rep. The guy called. I stood by my story, because it was true. It turns out I’m on my own time. Without the damn union that was a suspension, I know it, and the company knows it. They hate the union and make no secret of it.

The sad thing is we’re slightly above average in pay scale, and still shorthanded. A big reason for this is a general shortage of qualified people, but another reason are those uniforms. Many EMTs say they would come over here part time but never wear those ridiculous uniforms.