Q:  I'm turned on by ambulance drivers and EMT workers. But I'm a little worried that there's something weird and pathological and morbid about this. I don't know — stretchers, IV drip-bags, walkie-talkies. Help me make sense of this and reassure me that I won't wind up in some special fetish hell, or, worse yet, all aroused by the person who comes to put me in a neck brace after a car wreck.

— Ambulance Chaser

A:  A fetish doesn't have to be negative. You're probably — and this is just a theory — turned on by the whole idea of being taken care of by a strong, capable man who knows how to deal with an emergency situation. You dig being the damsel in distress, having the man in uniform rush in and solve the problem for you. As for being aroused by the person putting you in a neck brace with your bones broken, believe me, sex will be the last thing on your mind sister. You'll be too busy fearing for your life, or at the very least, the fate of your car, to be too aroused by the EMT guy. Honestly, you could do a lot worse, like being sexually aroused by attempting to kill people (or being strangulated to death yourself). That's when you might have a problem. So to answer your question, no, you won't end up in fetish hell (unless you want to of course, and have your ambulance driver rescue you from it).