Enough to make you swear
by

Several years ago, I did a "Shortness of Breath" at one of our less than top notch nursing homes. Since the first out crew had just gotten back, my partner volunteered us for the run, despite the universal rule: DON'T EVER VOUNTEER FOR A RUN!

Enroute ,dispatch advised us that the nursing home was "requesting oxygen", Well, No @$#$!, I wasn't going to bring in the OB kit!

When we pulled up, the administrator opened the door for us, Ok, that ain't good.

We arrived to the appropriate wing to find the RT bagging the pt with the oldest BVM known to man, achieving nothing as far as I could tell, by the way the ambu leaked like a sieve and the pt.s cheeks were blowing out!

The pt still had a pulse and I noted a gag reflex, so I began to place an NP airway, when my partner was practically pleading with me to "do the NP, I've never done one". Okay, whatever, put it in. I asked the RN about the pts name and got "oh, she's not a pt, she's a visitor!" Seems like this place got tired of killing off the pt's and had decided to go after the visitors!!!!

We placed the pt on the cot and ran for the door, yelling to dispatch over the portable to "get some help over here!", only to get the dreaded response " no units available" %^&$#$$@

In the truck, I placed the pt on the AED and told my partner to " HAUL @##, as the screen showed a heartbeat steadily slowing, BP was now nonexistent, and resp. were now so irregular that I gave up counting and grabbed for a combi-tube, opened her airway and inserted, checked for bilat lung sounds and started bagging, when the AED alerted. A quick check for a pulse and a look at the screen
confirmed the AED's alert, no pulse and V-fib. #$$%#!) and still 10 minutes from the hospital!

My partner, nevertheless, kept me laughing by alternating between keeping the hospital updated and swearing at any vehicle on the 4-lane highway (whether they were going in the same direction as us or not!)

We arrived at the hospital with me still doing pushups on my pt, my partner completely horse from screaming at oncoming traffic, a dead AED and O2 supply and the truck completely trashed.

We arrived back at the shed only to find that the director wanted to know if we felt like volunteering to long distance transport a pt with an obstructed bowel. Before my partner could do it to me again, I asked her where we could send the flowers for her funeral!!!!!

She never volunteered for a run again !!!!!