San Antonio, TX - A novel study designed to test the possibility of using chimpanzees as ambulance attendants has been prematurely halted because of animal safety concerns brought to light by the watchdog group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

Researchers at the Southwestern Primate Center in San Antonio and the University of New Mexico School of Medicine in Albuquerque began the innovative study two years ago. Four western chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes verus) who had mastered sign language were taught an abbreviated first aid course and assigned to work on ambulances in New Mexico. The primates were paired with a human Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) who was skilled in sign language.

The chimpanzees reportedly mastered basic first aid skills such as bandaging, splinting, oxygen administration, CPR, and learned to use a life-saving device known as an Automted External Defribrillator (AED) used to start the hearts of heart attack victims. The first three weeks of the study went well.

However, as the study progressed, the chimps began to show signs of stress. At the scene of an accident, one chimp inadvertently bandaged a tree.

On another accident scene, the ambulance chimp fled the scene with the EMT's lunch. As the study progressed, the behavior of the chimps became more bizarre. While attending an elderly victim of a stroke, one chimp said to the victim in sign language, "My panties are in need of oranges." On another call, one chimp began to massage his genitals while howling like an ambulance siren.

PETA had primate zoologists evaluate the animals and determined their workloads caused the decline in functioning. This was attributed to a process used by ambulance services called System Status Management (SSM) where ambulance drivers remain in their ambulances for extended periods of time without a break. Also, some of the chimps were given only a limited amount of oranges and bananas.

Following termination of the experiment, one of the chimps was returned to the primate center, two were assigned to the ambulance dispatch office, and one was promoted to management.