Oximoron?
byby The Paper Bag Medic

ADVISORY.....HAZMAT EMERGENCY FAST ACTION RESPONSE TEAM (HE FART)
SUBJECT..... OXICLEAN
PRIORITY...... RAPID DISSEMINATION,ALL STATIONS

Due to a heightened level of warning and alert activity caused by recent alert advisories and activities concerning the subject of heightened awareness pursuant to the mass mailing of a corrosive, ingestion/inhalation risk, white powdery substance subjectively known as a "mass marketing campaign"  Homefront Security officials and Senior FARTs have announced that, "Subsequential to, and as a result of, and indicative to the levels of heightened awareness,Countersecurity agents will be implaced at all public fountains, swimming pools and fish ponds to prevent subversive agents and subversive agency state supported individuals from introducing these corrosive ingestion/inhalation risk,white powdery substances into strategic water sources.

In Southern Alabama. 3 subversive agents,...Jho Bob Jhimbobway, Jhon Bhoy Jhimbobway, and M'gumbe Bhear from the "Ali Bubba" faction of a group collectively known as the "White Hope United Mohammedin Prefecture"(WHUMP) were apprehended in a local "retail establishment" after attempting to commandeer a large quantity of the corrosive,inhalation/ingestion risk , white powdery substance known as OXICLEAN. They wee thwarted when supplies of OXICLEAN were unavailable and they began stuffing bottles of Mr. Clean down their pants.

An unnamed female attendant became suspicious when as she described, " With their pants all bulgin' out like that , I thought they wuz just really glad to see me and I went to git thare phone numbers, they all started a runnin' off and all them bottles of Mr. Clean fell out of thier pants". "I knew what them fellers was up to then ...and it wuz no good,"

She continued, " Yessir, ....it wuz no good, 'cause none of them smelt like they'd ever seen soap before"

The arresting officer, Chief Deputy Under-sheriff, Gustav Semmes-Bledson of the Semmes County Homefront Security division said that, "Them boys came here to get OXYCLEAN and They was arrested with Mr. Clean and ain't none of em smelt like they even knew what clean was" "If them boys ain't OXYMORON's I don't know what is"

PLEASE POST FOR RAPID DISSEMINATION