FraCTurED fAIRY tALEs
"Two Dudes", "Two Beers"
By
Mar 16, 2008, 16:03

Courtesy the EMS House of DeFrance http://www.defrance.org

"Two Dudes", "Two Beers"
 
The FBI has issued an all points bulletin for the apprehension of "two dudes", a.k.a. "some dudes", "two huge dudes", "a whole bunch of dudes", "some homies", "those sons of bitches", "some f***ing a**holes", and "these guys". They are responsible for approximately one million assaults in the past two days in every town in America.

Their modus operandi is as follows. They wait for the victim to consume "two beers", "two cocktails", "two glasses of wine", or "two shots of liquor" and then they, for no apparent reason, beat the living crap out of him. Inevitably the victim is assaulted whilst in the midst of "minding his own business".*

They are also under suspicion as accessories to multiple counts of attempted vehicular homicide with the following modus operandi. The "two dudes" mentioned above will buy "two beers" for a hapless female victim and then run her off the road as she drives home.

A large reward is being offered for information leading to the arrest of "two dudes". They are considered armed and dangerous. Multiple descriptions of the perpetrators have been given but the descriptions are so inconsistent that police suspect they are also masters of disguise.

Extreme caution is advised if ever approaching "two dudes".

Read more from M.D.O.D.
About M.D.O.D. ":Random thoughts from a few cantankerous American physicians. All contributors are board certified. Various specialties are represented here. I do not know where this will lead but hope it will at least be an enjoyable read. All of the names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms, the ages have been changed, and in half the cases the gender as well. All photographs are published with patient consent or are digitally altered to preserve anonymity. Trust us, we're doctors."

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